The Gerbils that ate Belfast

Thanks to one of my workmates finally getting better after being infected with a baby for the past 9 months I have to spend a large proportion of my working life in Belfast. Away from home and away from friends I thought I may as well bring my animals with me for some company. Now although I teach kids nutrition in schools another part of the company teaches about classification of animals, rainforests etc through the use of animals. I’m not entirely sad and lonely travelling around with a pair of gerbils. In truth I packed my car up with my entire menagerie, Tarantula and snake included, but it always seems to be the gerbils that cause the trouble.  Dave Grohl the Gerbil

So far I have had five gerbils. Dave (Grohl) ate the other two original gerbils. (Dave and Kurt) because they were bullying him. He escaped a couple of times leading to the moving of full filing cabinets and frantic Stuart Little type chase scenes. He also managed to eat through 2 carrying boxes. GERBIL PROOF carrying boxes.

My two new gerbils Tig and Tog (Dave having passed on to the great snake-less desert in the sky) have been a bit better. Apart form making little gerbil pyramids so that they can chew through water bottle after water bottle they have mostly behaved. But that was until they ate Belfast.

I have lived within rock-throwing distance of Ireland for years but had never visited until recently. I don’t know my way around Belfast so I can’t understate the importance of my map. I won’t use a Tom-Tom or any other sat-Nav type device as I object to being told what to do by machines. Usually my dad, an ex-policeman, would be at the other end of the phone to give me directions anywhere in the country if I get lost. “Turn right at the black bull, follow the road past the street walkers until you come to an old wino on the corner.” This I call Dad-Nav. It’s not compatible with Belfast.

I woke up last night to a familiar noise. Something was being nibbled. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it is not. This time it was not. Staying in a cramped room in a B&B I had stacked many things on top of each other. I had stacked my map above Tig and Tog, the Gerbils who ate Belfast.